The final episode of The Shield was brilliant. It was perfect. It was the ending I did not see coming - but should have. Vic Mackey, who always got what he wanted, often by force, must live in a prison of his own creation. I could not be happier with the way the show ended. Bravo to the writers, actors and creator Shawn Ryan. 

There is an ogoing battle in my head between The Wire and The Shield. Which is the better cop show? Until tonight, I would have said The Wire. But The Shield ended on a stronger note — with a stronger last season and episode. It will take me days to sort it all out. Look for a Shield-Wire column in the future.

Overall, there were just a ton of great moments, including the darkly humorous conclusion of Vic Mackey’s crime-fighting career. My only criticism is that I would have liked to have seen the Dutch versus the serial killer kid plotline play out more. I felt like it got short shrift. It deserved a more Shield-ian ending.

Otherwise, the episode was everything I could hope for in a series finale.

A lot of people complain about television. They say things like, “There is nothing on TV,” or ”TV sucks,” or “My television is broken and I don’t have enough money to get it fixed.”

Whiners.

I am living through a personal mini-golden era of television right now. I am sharing this to counterbalance all of the bashing my good friend TV takes by snobs, media elites and other people who are idiots.

For the last few weeks I have been enjoying:

The final season of The Shield. My favorite non-Wire cop drama is racing to a spectacular conclusion. I want to know how it ends now, but I want to milk every moment of every episode before the final episode. If not for The Wire, I might call it the best cop show of all time. It might be. I think I will have to write about this after the final episode.

The Office. It is probably the best comedy on television. That is not saying much, compared to the competition, but it is consistently funny. This season has been a bit of a letdown with Pam out of the office. I hope she returns soon. I did not realize how integral she was to the show’s chemistry.

Mad Men. Go ahead. Take my Man Card. I deserve that.

Friday Night Lights. Great show. I’m probably not the target demo. Don’t care. The show’s characters have grown on me. Last year’s writers’ strike knocked the second season short and really killed its momentum. The show is finally rounding back into form. Spoiler. Seeing Smash get his scholarship was great. Same goes for the trials and tribulations of Principal Taylor.

Other reasons to watch television right now: The Soup, South Park, the baseball playoffs and World Series, college football, the NFL, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football.

Also, 30 Rock will be back soon and Lost returns in early 2009.

If the Mayor of Television existed, I would thank him.

I have been watching True Blood. It’s the HBO series about vampires. The nicest thing I can say about the show is that I don’t hate it. As of right now, it exists on my DVR for me to watch when I have finished all of my other shows.

I watched the first three episodes and this is what I have to report.

What works:

• Anna Paquin is great as the protagonist Sookie Stackhouse. She is adorably gap-toothed, morally grounded and adventurous. Her character is the perfect lens through which to view a world in which vampires walk among “breathers” – that would be us. Vampires don’t breathe or eat or do human things, with the following exceptions. They kill other humans. They dress like Tyler Durden from Fight Club. They hit on hot southern girls. Anyway, Paquin and her character are a good match.
• The side characters in the fictional town of Bon Temps, La., seem authentic and interesting enough to hold your attention. Among the more colorful characters are Sookie’s horn-dog brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten), best friend Tara (Rutina Wesley – who is destined for big things), town drug dealer/gay prostitute/short order cook – where does he find time for it all and still manage to look fabulous? – Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) and Sookie’s open-minded grandma Adele (Lois Smith).
• It was a bold and challenging choice to make this series. I like stories that alter our world and show what would happen if we added an X factor. This can be traced back to my childhood love affair with V.

What doesn’t work:

• There is no chemistry between Sookie and her love interest, vampire Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer). I don’t care whether they get together or not. Their love story is boring. Sookie is young and has never been in love. (This is mainly because she can read other people’s thoughts. I think this would crimp any woman’s love life, while it would, oddly, help any man’s.) Compton has no excuse. He has been alive since the Civil War. One would thing he would have developed some game by now. Once you have had Gilded Age tail, liberated 21st century women should come much easier.
• Creator Alan Ball has twice used the tired, old HBO convention of showing a scene, then having a character wake up, only to reveal that the scene you just saw did not really happen. Six Feet Under did this a lot. The Sopranos did this when the show went sideways. You know what show never did this? The Wire never did this. It’s a gimmick. Nineteen times out of 20 the comedic or dramatic payoff doesn’t erase the feeling of, “You just made me watch something that has no bearing on the story and you wasted everyone’s time.” Show reality. It’s more interesting.
• I want a wider view of this world. In True Blood, vampires have been walking among us – openly – for such a period of time that no one kicks Compton out of a Louisiana bar where he is not welcome. I think a more interesting choice would have been to see the buildup to the legalization of all things vampire, and the struggle inherent in such a cause. It would have revealed more drama, higher stakes and a higher body count. It would have been more fun to watch.

I am week-to-week on True Blood. One horrendous episode and I am gone. One great episode and I will give the show until the send of the first season.

If I find out this whole show was just one long dream sequence, I will stab someone with my teeth.

Trader Joe’s is a Southern California-based grocery store chain that specializes in gourmet, organic and specialty foods. Maybe you have one near you. Maybe you don’t. How the hell would I know? Answer: I wouldn’t.

I tend to go to Trader Joe’s when I want to purchase food and drink for special occasions. On this particular evening, I planned on watching the conclusion of season three of “The Wire” on DVD. The only proper way to conclude one of the greatest seasons in television history, I thought, was with a bottle of Napa red and a flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta cheese. Did I mention I don’t have a girlfriend? What gave it away? Answer: Everything.

The checkout girl was the usual sort you find at Trader Joe’s – cute and friendly and chatty. If Trader Joe’s employs ugly, silent brooders – the type with a score to settle – they’re not in front with the public. They’re kept in the back with the raw meats. Up front it’s all talk-talk-talk and nicey-nice and “have a great day, sir.” In the back, if I had to guess, they’re sawing off shotguns, drawing on maps and worshipping Santeria. Do I have proof of this? No. Why do I think it’s true? Answer: There must be balance.

My checkout girl – we’ll call her Betsy – picked up my delicious flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta and scanned it. Then she made a bold move – a move she would soon and forever regret. “This is one of my favorites,” she said. I immediately responded, “What side dishes would you recommend?” I’m big on side dishes. Side dishes and dipping sauces. Is variety the spice of life? Yes. If variety is not the spice of life, then why is there so much variety? Answer: Exactly.

Betsy blinked. It was a silent blink of epic proportions. She had been caught in a lie. We both knew it. She couldn’t think of what side dish she had enjoyed with her delicious flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta because she had never eaten said brand of delicious flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta. Or had she just imagined it, like Hillary with the sniper fire? Who lies about delicious flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta? What did Betsy stand to gain? Answer: Me. I’m one cool bowl of spumoni. In a way, I could not blame her. But in a different way, I could.

(Above: What woman could resist?)

Betsy finally mumbled “baked potato” before looking down and away in childlike shame. She knew the harsh truth. She had destroyed whatever trust there was between us. She had broken the sacred code of the checkout girl. You know the code. When a customer buys a quart of whiskey, a box of prophylactics, Jell-O and a mop, you keep your damn trap shut. Same goes for an innocent order of delicious flank steak stuffed with spinach and feta. If you have a comment, you keep it to yourself. Take whatever thoughts are rattling around in that Betsy head of yours home and blog them or journal them or drink them off. I don’t want to hear it. Why? Answer: We both know what the Jell-O is for. But you’ll never guess what the mop is for, so don’t even try.

I haven’t been back to Trader Joe’s since. There is a taint upon that store, and you can interpret that to mean any type of taint you please. I no longer associate Trader Joe’s with spicy hummus or pineapple salsa or joy. Now when I think of Trader Joe’s, it’s all lies and betrayals and truth-rape. There is a Vons grocery store across the street. It’s not as flashy, but the employees are discreet. And that’s all a man can ask for these days. Is that really all a man can ask for these days? Answer: That really is all a man can ask for these days.

(To hear Mike, Sean, guest Ed Galvez and me talk about this column on The Second Column podcast on iTunes, click here.)

I am catching up with The Wire and am halfway through Season Two. Right now I am calling it the second-best cop drama of all time, after The Shield. I have an open mind, though, and if keeps getting better I will consider flipping those top two spots. For now: 1.) Shield 2.) Wire 3.) NYPD Blue

(Above: Vic Mackey of The Shield hears the news that I may bump his show down to No. 2.)

Also, Lost has been completely compelling this year. I am enthralled the way I was in Season One. Can’t wait to see where they are going with the Oceanic 6.

Book-wise, I just finished a fantastic one called Common Genius by Bill Greene. It is about how ordinary people are the ones who have shaped the course of human history for the better. And, as the perfect follow-up to that book, I am reading The Best and the Brightest by David Halberstram, which is a book about how intellectuals led the United States into Vietnam.

Music-wise, I have not been downloading anything because I got the new Sirius Stiletto 2, which allows me to listen to Howard Stern/rock music/sports all day through my WiFi connection.

I have not seen a movie in months.