Published Work

These are select articles. I have had hundreds published in dozens of publications. If you are an editor, I have freelanced before, but I am currently on staff as the Senior Writer at Los Angeles.

Humor

Every Parent Who Does This One Thing Is a Terrible Parent (LA Mag)

Avocados Wait for No Man (LA Mag)

Here’s a Baffling Collection of Trump’s Most Awkward Handshakes (LA Mag)

Take the Los Angeles Subway Tour of New York City (LA Mag)

If I Die In this Whole Foods Parking Lot: A Letter to My Family (LA Mag)

There Are a Lot of Girly Magazines In Our Nation’s Woods: A Special Report (Playboy)

Hidden Images in 5 Presidential Portraits (Playboy)

Why You Are Wrong (The Humor Columnist)

Yes, Engagement Photos Are a Thing, and Yes, We Got Them (Salon)

What No One Tells You About Being Robbed (Cracked)

I Want to Eat Your Baby (Babble)

Reporting

Is This the Worst Coffee Shop in L.A.? (LA Mag)

The Story Behind the Most Inescapable Billboard in Los Angeles (LA Mag)

Could All of Our Recent Rainstorms Cause an Earthquake? (LA Mag)

Are Libertarians Crazy Cultists Who Should Be Drowned? A Special Investigation (Playboy)

A Conversation with Gary Johnson about the Politics of Spinelessness (Playboy)

Please, Do Not Tip Your Server (Slate)

The Truth About Canola Oil (Livestrong)

The 5 Scary Stages of a Juice Fast (Livestrong)

Opinion/Essay

Jonathan Demme’s Stop Making Sense is Brilliant, and Will Always Be Brilliant (LA Mag)

Why Los Angeles Deserves the Lucas Museum (LA Mag)

We Can’t Have the Same Arguments at Thanksgiving This Year (LA Mag)

Don’t You Dare Unfriend People Right Now (LA Mag)

We Have Never Been Prouder to Live in California (LA Mag)

I Would Like to Weigh in On CoverGirl’s New CoverBoy on Behalf of the Mansplaining Patriarchy (LA Mag)

The Moral Case for Prop 64 (LA Mag)

Here Are Those Celeb Nudes You’re Looking for (Playboy)

My Apologies to the Whole Foods Crowd (Reason)

Editing

All of the Reasons Not to Vote for Each Presidential Candidate

Food

The Most Delicious Coffee in L.A. That No One Is Writing About (LA Mag)

The Foods You Should Never Take Home as Leftovers If You Have Even a Shred of Self-Respect (LA Mag)

Publications

Los Angeles Magazine Archive

Cracked Archive

Playboy Archive

Livestrong Archive

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