This is where I write my column, link to my articles, publicize my podcast and share cool videos and websites.
This is the type of thing I see when I close my eyes at night: Chewbacca riding a giant squirrel while fighting Nazis near a mountain.
Great piece of art from GameFan84.
This is my favorite thing on the Internet today. The blog KK.org (from Kevin Kelly) offers a list of the best magazine articles of all time.
As with all Internet lists, it is objective and incomplete and open to debate, but it does manage to capture many of magazine journalism’s best moments. No list, for instance, would be complete without Hunter S. Thompson’s The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved, art by Ralph Steadman, shown above. That article is included, as are others I have enjoyed such as The Last American Hero is Junior Johnson, Frank Sinatra Has a Cold and The Long Tail. Notably absent is William Langewiesche’s Atlantic series on unbuilding the World Trade Center, which I thought was magnificent, but as I said, these lists are never complete.
Check out this list of greatest magazine articles for yourself. If you have never read any of these articles, please do so. This is what good journalism looks like at the highest level.
So, this exists: Bald Guyz Head Wipes.
What are Bald Guyz Head Wipes? They are head wipes for bald guys. (You’re welcome.)
Actual description from the Bald Guyz website: “An exclusive Swiss formula made with Green Tea extract, Head Wipes provide a cool feeling while our moisturizers and gentle cleansers wipe away dirt build up and the natural oil that secretes from the pores on the head. Head Wipes provide a clean and fresh feeling. Use Head Wipes anytime, anyplace. 16 individual wipes per box.”
Glad I found this. Now I can stop wiping my head with the sleeve of my shirt like an idiot.
ANAHEIM, Calif. _ Some people visit Disneyland many times without ever seeing Mickey Mouse. I got lucky. Thirty minutes into my first trip I saw Mickey. In case you’re wondering what the most famous mouse in the world is like, I can answer that: Jay-Z. Or at least what I imagine Jay-Z is like. Mickey is accompanied by a handler whose job it is to tell 5-year-old children, “Do not crowd Mickey.” And, “Back away from Mickey.” And, “Stop hugging Mickey or a sniper perched atop The Matterhorn will shoot you in the thigh.” There is a real fear in the park that Mickey Mouse will be crushed to death by swarming tots. For this reason, Mickey is treated like a rapper making his way through a nightclub. He is visible enough so that the public knows he is there, but he is cordoned off in such a way that any meaningful contact with him is restricted unless you are a beautiful woman who is ready to party. (I am still talking about Mickey.)
Like most children, I was 34 years old the first time I visited Disneyland. I went on July 17, 2010, the day of the park’s 55th anniversary. I had the opportunity to go as a guest on a press trip. That reminds me – if you visit Disneyland, stay at the Hyatt Regency Orange County. That’s the Hyatt Regency Orange County! As part of the junket I was given a one-day “Park Hopper” pass to Disneyland and California Adventure. To get to the park I took a shuttle, leaving my hotel room at the Hyatt Regency Orange County completely uninhabited, only to return later to the Hyatt Regency Orange County, where I found my belongings completely unmolested thanks to the professional, hardworking, courteous staff at the Hyatt Regency Orange County.
I stood at the front gates of the park for 10 minutes, taking it all in. The scene was uplifting. Disneyland is an amazing melting pot filled with people from all over Japan. Also, some people from other parts of the world were there. It was easy to spot the Americans because they kept bumping into things like stone walls and Winnie The Pooh and me. The Disneyland map is complex, its details beyond the comprehension your average American employs to follow, say, simple Google Map directions. Overseas, signs such as the one below, which clearly states that it is only legal to park on that street on Tuesdays during the Winter Olympics, are quite common. The foreign brain, which is used to the madness of dealing with large-scale bureaucracies, has the clear advantage when it comes to navigating Disneyland. For a foreign visitor, the Magic Kingdom is much like being back in the home country, except you can’t buy cigarettes anywhere and it is generally frowned upon to feed children wine.
Variety reports that Second Column podcast guest Danielle Schneider and her writing partner Dannah Phirman will adapt Todd Harris Goldman’s book “Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!” Schneider appeared in Episode 127, where she talked about her terrorist twin and why Michael Jordan is a d-bag, among many other things. You can catch Schneider right now (well, not right this second, but sometime this week, specifically Wednesdays at 11 pm) in the Matt Walsh Spike TV show Players.